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Sunday, November 28, 2004
shes_a_sprite @ 10:51 AM.
Thursday, November 25, 2004 shes_a_sprite @ 10:02 PM.
shes_a_sprite @ 7:51 PM.
Awwwww he is so cute with his little sweater. LOL shes_a_sprite @ 7:50 PM.
Monday, November 22, 2004 This also solves another problem.... I will have a place to sleep when I visit my mother now. I was worried about moving my stuff in before the first of the year, because I am staying with her through Christmas, but didn't want to wait until the first of the year to move, because Well I am going to call it quits... I know you don't want to hear anymore about the forbidden fruit, and that is all that is running through my head right now. I just don't get it... shes_a_sprite @ 2:48 PM.
Yeah way too much moosy stuff for me. :) Draco does deserve to be in the spot light geez get on with that!!! :) Wednesday, November 17, 2004 shes_a_sprite @ 8:55 AM.
I so knew it was a guy from your work!!!! :) Forbidden Fruit!!! You are so funny. I wouldn't date a cop, oh no we would constantly be arguing about driving citations and who is right and who is wrong, and he would be like, "I am the law" and I would be like, "yeah whatever poko-dot boxer boy" Oooh oooh... I can answer that one. I thought my English/writing skills sucked. Hell in comparison I should have a doctorate in the English language. If you could only see some of his reports and the hell he put his training officers through. I see. Interesting. Friday, November 12, 2004 shes_a_sprite @ 2:14 PM.
I so would have freaked out if that wax situation happened to me. This is why I do not get my eye brows waxed. Sunday, November 07, 2004 shes_a_sprite @ 1:52 AM.
Ok...Yeah if you are having issues within four months, that is no good. Besides I was just annoyed by the entire scene with him in the library with the chick, while he left you to stress before your test. That is a no no in Rachel land. :) Boy I really like Rachel’s thoughts... sounds almost like what I was going to tell you. Let it happen, don’t fight it. Life is all a learning experience, live it up. Wednesday, November 03, 2004 shes_a_sprite @ 3:47 PM.
I agree and thank you for the share. It is always nice to read and be swept away with the words of greatness. :) shes_a_sprite @ 3:06 PM.
Monday, November 01, 2004 shes_a_sprite @ 2:34 PM.
My dear, I urge you to get a second and third opinion, it is really important for you to seek out as many opinions as you can in order to see if there are any common conclusions amongst the doctors. I learned one thing from my fathers death and that is to never put your health/life fully in the hands of doctors, meaning you have to do a lot of research and investigation pertaining to your symptoms etc. They are all a bunch of %^&**^%$$^&*(*&^%$###%^ !!!!!
Torture the Doggie
Just thought I would torture my poor little pooch! He wouldn't even look at the snowman....
and the second one is Draco trying to eat my camera... Poor dog.
I really do torture him, you know the movie Legally Blonde, yeah well Draco has his own bag too...
Check out Draco's blog.... on the right.... A huge thanks to Bonnie, for helping with the HTML code.... That stuff confuses me so and she made it all so very perfect! Also for helping me figure out how to make my pictures post bigger through Hello...
I hope all of muh Friends and readers are having a wonderful Turkey Day!!! We had a really great day. My Family actually got along for an entire afternoon... Without bringing up any negative past issues, no shallow digs... Just an enjoyable afternoon.
I am going to take things extremely slow with the forbidden fruit. I like him, and that in and of itself is dangerous. I know me, I know my taste in men, and I don't want to rush into anymore dead end relationships, that lead to heartbreak and drama. I want to start out as friends and work up to everything else. Which is going to be hard, because there is definitely a strong chemistry between us, even he admits this.
I also want to keep any involvement quiet at work. Thus far there is nothing to talk about, but should it lead down that avenue, which I think it might, I would like to keep it between us. Please don't act any different around him, or allude to the fact that you know that we are interested. I think it would just be one more complication, one more stress on a fragile beginning. I really want this to work, so please as my friends, let me have this peace of mind. This may mean I don't update about it any more. Not that I don't trust those who read my blog, but simply because if they don't know, they can't say... This may be my final entry about the forbidden fruit, other than to rant about why it is that he has any emotional affect on me at all.
Larry says that I am feeling again, which he also says is a good thing. I am not so sure. When you let someone in, they can hurt you. But hey I am going to let it ride, see where it goes, but just take it really slow. It just aggravates me so that I can't get him out of my head. I found myself cheesing this really huge grin in the middle of trig class the other night, and let me tell you it was not the vectors we were working on!
T - 15 days until my graduation, T- 25 days until I move, T - 39 days until I start UF... I am so excited. I need to get a head board and foot board, and a comforter, and sheets for my new (well new to me, it was me madre's) queen size bed, curtains for my room, curtains for the kitchen, and the living room, and gosh we have to totally start from scratch as far as groceries goes. I can't even think of what all else I am going to need. We got the bathrooms, and the living room covered, and I think most of the kitchen stuff is undercontrol, we may need a few utensils like a can opener or whatever. I think we even have a welcome mat, although I can't remember. I would like to find a mirror for the front foyer... Ho hum more money than I have to spend I am sure.
Well folks, I am going to close, I do so hope that your thanksgiving was as pleasant and full of good food as mine was.
I am not looking - I refuse! 
Rachel said...
He is not happy about this new picture thing. :)
Back off or the camera gets it!
Dizzy
NO, I did not say ditzy.... Big difference... Huge!
I am totally confused.... I so do not understand why this guy is so very different from all the rest! I mean it is just a guy after all, he has tons of testosterone, just like the rest of them.... He has an ego, just like the rest of them.... Why is he soooo different? Why can't I get him out of my head. On nights that I know that I am going to work with him the next day, I start waking up at like 3:30 in the morning, and the first thing that goes through my head is omg, it must be time to get up. Good Lord!
I am so very used to just not giving two shits about what any guy thinks. I usually find a reason to pick him apart and spit him out in a matter of weeks anyways. This might be totally offensive to some, but it is totally honest and truthful, so if it bothers you, just click the X at the top right. I am totally guarded against anything with testicles. If you are male, and want to be more than just friends... Look out. I will be happy for a couple weeks, (really bored in the back of my head, sometimes just dating for the sheer point of having something to do, not because I am interested) It has been like this for five years, and it is really sort of sad... I don't know if he who shall never be named hurt me so badly that it just took this long to start to "feel" again... Or if I am just so Jaded, that I didn't want to feel again, or if it is some combination of all of the above... What makes this guy stir in me, a tingle of warmth, a yearning to be apart of a working relationship, a partnership, a camaraderie, known only to those who have that special someone... Could I be that lucky, to find someone who really stikes that fancy with me... Is there a chance that I could really find the L word more than once in this life? Dare I wish? Dare I dream? Do I really have the guts to let go, to take the chance and fall? What if he is not there to catch me?
Am I really such a girl, that I have to go through this? I really don't mind being a cold hearted bitch.... I went 11 months with out dating anyone.... Though I missed a few things about being in relationships, they were the same things that I missed even when I was involved... There has only been one to be my other half, to fill those desires, who just simply was a part of me!
Do I jump? Do I take that chance, that I could not get up again?
Okay enough of that mushy shit! I am really not usually that girly.... Draco is now totally mad at me that he does not have his very own sight. When Mooshu speaks, for some reason I hear a French accent.... Draco has a bit of a Spanish twinge when he speaks.... Oh and he says that even Puma is getting all the glory... He wants to know where his little spotlight is... It would have to be little.... 4.7 lbs of dog is not very big... jeeze, I know what I am doing with the first Monday night I have had off since August (other than my surgery) Thanks a lot Bonnie! =p
On the moving front.... "I so exxxxcitteeedddddd!" We went couch shopping, and bought a set, including couch, love seat, and recliner, in the suede material that I love.... And Larry got his bedroom suite.... And then he got a bed a couple of days later.... And not that I was trying to control anything.... But not having a plan for something that is happening in less than a month, was driving me nuts... So we signed a lease at the apartment that we favored... Instead of looking for a house. It is in a good location as far as school and work goes. The only problem that I can see with it is that my family seems to think that it is too close to a bad neighborhood... Oh well... I like it, and Larry liked it, and that is what is important! And it is signed off on now... It is a done deal.... Tonight, my grandparents are giving my mother their king sized bed, and I am getting mom's Queen, which means I will only need a head board and a foot board.... Yeah!
Rachel said...
I am excited that you are moving it will be a blast.
ho hum
So I quit smoking like a week a... I don't miss the oral fixation part of it like last time, but I was definitely addicted chemically. Though I only smoked for a month, it will now take 90 days to get all those toxins back out of my body.... Grrrr I hate human weakness some times.
I talked to a friend yesterday, and she made a very good point. I am going to try.... Special emphasis on try, to quit trying to control every little detail in my life, and just take life as it comes, live day by day, hour by hour.... No I am not giving up my school plans or anything like that. I am still going to be one determined biotch when it comes to doing my personal best.
I am not sure what comfort I get from having that little bit of control, but it sure throws a wrench in the mix when you do lose that illusion of control... do you see? There never was a control to begin with... Yes I can control how organized I am, no I cannot control what the doctor is going to say next, or how a guy is going to react towards me, or how hard a teacher is going to grade.... Okay the easy part is saying it.... Now how the hell do I loosen my grip? I have fought to trick myself into believing that I am actually in control of my life, so hard in fact, that I forget to just kick back and have fun sometimes... I don’t get to laugh at life’s little curve balls any more, because I am too busy calling a foul!
I then get super stressed when life, as it always will, goes spiraling out of control... not that being stressed about it is going to do anything... it just happens that way. What is the point of being stressed? But how do I keep from getting stressed? I mean Medical bull shit is hard not to stress over, and no matter what I will always stress about grades... but the rest of it needs to just roll off my back. Like a certain person drinking too much, or what anyone cares about a romantic situation.... So okay I can say it, but can I do it? Only time will tell!
Okay, so enough of that... on to the forbidden fruit thing. Yeah I am taking it extremely slow. Cause wow I am fighting fire with fire here... I think the other guy and I just kind of drifted mutually apart, he hasn't really called since two Sundays ago, but neither have I so, we are even.... I feel bad in that last Saturday I found out that his father has less than a year to live.... However, he had known since Thursday, and never bothered to call and tell me! So eh I don't care... I am not gonna sweat it, not gonna worry about it. If he truly needed me, he would have called... thus it is not my problem. (was that cold hearted?)
The forbidden fruit is supposed to come pressure wash my house on either Saturday or Sunday in exchange for English and Computer lessons... perhaps later down the road, I will have to think up more exciting things to exchange for English lessons... oh now I am just being deviant... hehe... Anyways really no further developments on that front... I met him for dinner on Sunday, but for obvious reasons, ahem, he was still in uniform, in the town in which he works, the town in which I work, I was completely professional all through dinner. So he called after we parted ways to ask why I was so distant.... Hello, all eyes were on us... and he is going to be answering calls for some of those people, perhaps even arresting some of them... yes I guess there is no point in hiding it now, there are only a few who read this sight who actually know him... We work together... He is a cop, and I am administration... He breaks two of my major rules... I don't date cops (actually the rule is I don't date emergency response,) or those that I work with… yeah this is why he has been bestowed with the forbidden fruit title. There I go trying to control things again... so I just had to follow the advise of a few good friends... life is short... live a little! We will see how it goes... He did smell awfully nice today!
I am in a totally weird state today. I can't help it, I am just in one of those moods, even though I am a bit fuzzy headed from the nicotine with drawls, I am not crabby at all, I am in a terribly good mood... I am not sure why, I woke up almost an hour late this morning, but hey I still got to work ten minutes early so why stress it! I was using the patch but that biotch is not cheap, so my last one ran out at like 0630 this morning.... I think I am doing considerably well! Well I may have just made a fool of my self on the radio... yeah, poor baby cop, let a guy with an expired license go... with a verbal warning... problem is it has been expired since 1999.... That is not only a criminal citation but an arrestable offense. This poor guy has given all of his traffic stops at least on citation, but for some reason he let this guy go. Well when he said 10-8 verbal... the supervisor said do what, and I assumed the same tone and said 10-9… which means repeat your last transmission... oh not good, I had to apologize... I didn’t want to lower his confidence... Oh goodness... well I gotta get back to work now.
Rachel said...
I also enjoyed reading about how you are going to loosen your grip a bit...This is something that I can relate with, I also tried well really had to when my dad got sick but I just started to organize and control inanimate objects so I don't know if I improved any...
I so want to quit smoking! But you are stronger than I, so cheers to you. :)
I have one question...Why do you need to give this forbidden fruit english lessons??? Larry said...
Rachel said...
Peachy Keen Jelly Bean
Gr, I had some trauma yesterday, let me tell you.... It is actually quiet humorous now that it is over. I went to go get my eyebrows waxed during one of my breaks yesterday, which usually takes ten minutes including the drive. This was not the case. I get in there and this eight month pregnant woman asks if she can do it, as my usual lady is busy with a set of nails. Shame on me for not making an appointment!
So she does the first swipe no problem, put the wax on, yank the wax off and out comes the unwanted hairs right? Well as she was going for her second gooping of hot wax onto my face, I see this glob fall beside my face , and I feel it burn my scalp. That's right folks, she put hair removing wax into my Long (about two foot) blonde hair, natural in color of course.) she about panicked and apologized, and said "oh don't worry it will come right out with acetone... ACETONE.... In my hair? She must be nuts, this glossy natural shine does not come easily! But okay, I didn't know how else to get it out. So she finishes that eye without any further incident, and moves on to my left one, where she proceeds to drop a huge glob of hot wax right in the middle of my eye lid, Thank God my eye was closed. Well my first instinct was to open my eye, where it promptly stuck open due to the hot wax acting as a bonding agent.... She says "oh, oh don't worry that will come right off with this wax off cream.... Little did she know it is also make up off cream..... So now I have wax in my hair and make up on only one eye, so I look like a freak.... Then as she is attempting to remove the wax from my hair with acetone, I am inhaling it as it is right next to my face, that was fun!
Well she didn't want to "hurt me" so she asked if I wanted to try to remove it, I said no your not going to hurt me. Well she insisted I try, and by this time I am getting pretty pissed off, so I grabbed the rag and began rubbing this glob of hardened hair removal wax located just above my earlobe... Not making the connection that acetone is nail polish remover. When I am frustrated to the point I probably would have biotch slapped the woman if she wasn't pregnant, that this wax was not coming out, I handed her the rag and said that will have to do, I have to go back to work. Only to look down and discover, that my beautiful French manicured nails, (with an irredescent pink pearl base), the first set of nails I have had put on in a year, were completely ruined.
Now I was boiling hot! I looked at her, and said do you think you could fix this. Well of course they do not have airbrush, so the French manicure is out, so she painted them pink, as shades of pink were the only colors I had to choose from. So now I have wax in my hair, eye make up on only one eye, red eye brows (not so bad when that is all we are dealing with) and pink finger nails instead of my $35 dollar set of beautiful French manicure. Then she still had the nerve to charge me five dollars for the wax job..,.. I will never go there again! Needless to say, I had to go to the house to get my face fixed, and at least some of the wax out of my hair... You know what worked? Clinique eye make up remover... I love clinique.
I know yall really want me to get to the good stuff, the forbidden fruit. Well I am going to take it slow, keep it discrete, and hope that it works out! I enjoy being around him... His very presence makes me smile. I shant kiss and tell though, so you will have to read next time, perhaps when there is more to tell! Really nothing to disclose at this point!
I have registered for my classes at UF, and even got my Gator one card (my UF id card) So it is official... I also ordered my cap and gown, so that I could walk in December. I need to go and purchase my Phi Theta Kappa paraphernalia, but last time I went there was noone in the office to sell it to me.... And I am not off during the day very often. Very aggravating. I still have not told the other guy. We have drifted apart almost naturally, but I think he is still trying to hold on. He has my camera and my Passion of the Christ movie, so I am almost afraid to break it off until I get my things back. I feel bad, but I can't help that I am not attracted to him, and he can't help that he is not a gentleman. I will hopefully get over there before I have to work tonight and get my stuff, then perhaps break the news. I hate endings, they are never smooth, someone always gets hurt, this is why I don't get attached, why I try to stay at an arms length. This is why the forbidden fruit scares the shit out of me. I want him to call, I like it when he walks in a room... It immediately brightens my day. I don't like not being able to control how I feel. I usually could care less if a man calls or not. It just doesn't phase me. Now if I am in a relationship (oh the r word) and he says I'll call you tomorrow, then he better call, or I am gonna be ticked. Don't say your gonna do something and then don't do it... If you don't know, don't say it... (then if you call I am pleasantly surprised...) but other than that if he calls great if not great... If I see him great, if not I have a ton of other shit I need to do anyways. Everything is different with him. I knew the first time I saw him that I liked him, and the more time I spent around him the stronger the feeling got. God, I did not want to like him.... I tried not liking him... I tried ignoring him.... Nothing worked.... This is sooooo not cool...
For those of you who don't know me, and even for some of those who do (ahem Bonnie) forbidden fruit does not mean married! He is unequivocally single! I would never do married!
well I have not been able to update lately due to some serious pc problems. My damned computer will not allow me to update after I have logged in, if freezes on the dashboard page.... Same thing with my email, it freezes on my inbox... Can't even read my mail..... Larry, help!
I had a wonderful evening with Larry last weekend, after a day of house hunting and couch shopping... That is a whole other story, we went to play pool, and Larry got TOASTED! This does not happen often, so it was quiet humorous! Very fun times! He is hilarious when drunk! I have foot prints on my windshield!
Well I had a lot to update since I am locked out of my pc.... Life is going pretty good right now! I got a 92 on my last Trig test... So if I get a 93 on the next one, I will have a 90 in the class and may be exempt from the final exam.... Whew hoo, and my 4.0 will stay in tact for graduation!
Well readers, friends, and strangers, I am happy to share this rather lengthy but happy update. I meant the rant about the waxing to be a laughing matter for yall, for me it was rough, but I smile about it now! I will update again soon, hopefully from my very own pc... Until then take care!
Rachel said...
:)
Dilemma
Okay so it is that time... So It is four months now, and I don't know if I am making up excuses to bail, or if they are valid reasons. I was trying to talk myself into not bailing. There are just little things that bother me so. Like the other day, I carried three bags, a cooler, and my purse, and a bag of clothes.... And he walked me to my car, but didn't even offer to help with the bags... Now I was loaded down. Most guys would have just taken one. And now he has stood me up three times. The most recent was Thursday night. We were studying in the library. I had a test in Trig... (got a 91 whew hoooo) Well any of you who know me, know that I don't think properly when I am hungry... I even get to the point that I get a little edgy. So we were supposed to go to dinner at 7 as my test was at 8:30. He decided he would rather stay in the library and study with this chick. That would be all fine and dandy, but the whole two hours I was studying, he was staring at his book, jacking his jaw to this chick, talking on his phone and smoking cigarettes. It took twenty minutes for me to drive, eat and get back. I swear... He never opens my doors, he never tells me I look nice, even when he knows I bought an outfit for the occasion....
Then there is this other guy... He is kind of forbidden fruit. I won't go into detail yet. But I get butterflies in my tummy when he walks into the room.... That has not happened since He who shall never be named... That was almost five years ago. But this guy is almost dangerous. In two ways, first he breaks two of my dating rules, and I can't say which two as of yet because that would give it away.... And second, if I have butterflies in my tummy every thing his name is mentioned, or when he walks in, then just think how attached I could get if I did fall for him. I don't know if I am able to let myself fall like that. It hurts too bad when it is over.
I am scared. I usually just don't give a damn if a guy calls me or not. If I turn a head hey that's nice, but If I don't that is no sweat either. I care with this guy and I hardly know him. I don't like not being in control of how I feel. It scares the shit out of me! And what do I do about the boyfriend? Am I just finding a reason to leave because I fear commitment, am I just distracted by this other guy, or is he really not for me? I know that in the four months I have been with him, I have never been truly attracted to him. He is nice most of the time, a dick some of the time, and drunk the other portion of the time. I think honestly I was just bored. I had not dated in four months and all the sudden I was ready to get out there again! So now what?
I am SO confused. I think I will just pull back into my little hidey hole and not date again. Yet I can't help how I feel about this other guy.... Do I break the guidelines, do I risk my heart again, or do I shut it all out and remain the picture of a cold hearted bitch, but a very lonely person inside? Do I jump? Do I hide?
Singing out for the night... More to come on my little soap opera....
Rachel said...
I have no idea who this "forbidden fruit" is...But I will say that heart ache is a part of life. If you don't feel it through a romantic relationship, you feel it through something else. It will never be the same, because even though "the one who shall never be named" was five years ago, you learned something from that and now you are different person. (hopefully) Some people never learn like my best friend who really knows how to pick em. ;)
I will say this, aren't you going to be moving to go to school? Or are you not moving and you are just going to UF? Anyways bottom line is do what your heart beats. You would not find excuses or issues if they weren't there, you know what I mean? *hugs* Larry said...
William Blake ~ Auguries of Innocence
Auguries of Innocence
To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.
A robin redbreast in a cage
Puts all heaven in a rage.
A dove-house fill'd with doves and pigeons
Shudders hell thro' all its regions.
A dog starv'd at his master's gate
Predicts the ruin of the state.
A horse misused upon the road
Calls to heaven for human blood.
Each outcry of the hunted hare
A fibre from the brain does tear.
A skylark wounded in the wing,
A cherubim does cease to sing.
The game-cock clipt and arm'd for fight
Does the rising sun affright.
Every wolf's and lion's howl
Raises from hell a human soul.
The wild deer, wand'ring here and there,
Keeps the human soul from care.
The lamb misus'd breeds public strife,
And yet forgives the butcher's knife.
The bat that flits at close of eve
Has left the brain that won't believe.
The owl that calls upon the night
Speaks the unbeliever's fright.
He who shall hurt the little wren
Shall never be belov'd by men.
He who the ox to wrath has mov'd
Shall never be by woman lov'd.
The wanton boy that kills the fly
Shall feel the spider's enmity.
He who torments the chafer's sprite
Weaves a bower in endless night.
The caterpillar on the leaf
Repeats to thee thy mother's grief.
Kill not the moth nor butterfly,
For the last judgement draweth nigh.
He who shall train the horse to war
Shall never pass the polar bar.
The beggar's dog and widow's cat,
Feed them and thou wilt grow fat.
The gnat that sings his summer's song
Poison gets from slander's tongue.
The poison of the snake and newt
Is the sweat of envy's foot.
The poison of the honey bee
Is the artist's jealousy.
The prince's robes and beggar's rags
Are toadstools on the miser's bags.
A truth that's told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.
It is right it should be so;
Man was made for joy and woe;
And when this we rightly know,
Thro' the world we safely go.
Joy and woe are woven fine,
A clothing for the soul divine.
Under every grief and pine
Runs a joy with silken twine.
The babe is more than swaddling bands;
Every farmer understands.
Every tear from every eye
Becomes a babe in eternity;
This is caught by females bright,
And return'd to its own delight.
The bleat, the bark, bellow, and roar,
Are waves that beat on heaven's shore.
The babe that weeps the rod beneath
Writes revenge in realms of death.
The beggar's rags, fluttering in air,
Does to rags the heavens tear.
The soldier, arm'd with sword and gun,
Palsied strikes the summer's sun.
The poor man's farthing is worth more
Than all the gold on Africa's shore.
One mite wrung from the lab'rer's hands
Shall buy and sell the miser's lands;
Or, if protected from on high,
Does that whole nation sell and buy.
He who mocks the infant's faith
Shall be mock'd in age and death.
He who shall teach the child to doubt
The rotting grave shall ne'er get out.
He who respects the infant's faith
Triumphs over hell and death.
The child's toys and the old man's reasons
Are the fruits of the two seasons.
The questioner, who sits so sly,
Shall never know how to reply.
He who replies to words of doubt
Doth put the light of knowledge out.
The strongest poison ever known
Came from Caesar's laurel crown.
Nought can deform the human race
Like to the armour's iron brace.
When gold and gems adorn the plow,
To peaceful arts shall envy bow.
A riddle, or the cricket's cry,
Is to doubt a fit reply.
The emmet's inch and eagle's mile
Make lame philosophy to smile.
He who doubts from what he sees
Will ne'er believe, do what you please.
If the sun and moon should doubt,
They'd immediately go out.
To be in a passion you good may do,
But no good if a passion is in you.
The whore and gambler, by the state
Licensed, build that nation's fate.
The harlot's cry from street to street
Shall weave old England's winding-sheet.
The winner's shout, the loser's curse,
Dance before dead England's hearse.
Every night and every morn
Some to misery are born,
Every morn and every night
Some are born to sweet delight.
Some are born to sweet delight,
Some are born to endless night.
We are led to believe a lie
When we see not thro' the eye,
Which was born in a night to perish in a night,
When the soul slept in beams of light.
God appears, and God is light,
To those poor souls who dwell in night;
But does a human form display
To those who dwell in realms of day.
He is the mastermind of all poetry! I simply love his work. This piece takes it for me though. It is my favorite poem. Just thought I would share, as many have not read the entire peice before!
Rachel said...
Rain by Breaking Benjamins
Take a photograph,
It'll be the last,
Not a dollar or a crowd could ever keep me here,
I don't have a past
I just have a chance,
Not a family or honest plea remains to say,
Rain rain go away,
Come again another day,
All the world is waiting for the sun.
Is it you I want,
Or just the notion
Of a heart to wrap around so I can find my way around
Safe to say from here,
Your getting closer now,
We are never sad cause we are not allowed to be
Rain rain go away,
Come again another day,
All the world is waiting for the sun.
Rain rain go away,
Come again another day,
All the world is waiting for the sun.
To lie here under you,
Is all that I could ever do,
To lie here under you is all,
To lie here under you is all that i could ever do,
To lie here under you is all,
Rain rain go away,
Come again another day,
All the world is waiting for the sun.
Rain rain go away,
Come again another day,
All the world is waiting for the sun,
All the world is waiting for the sun,
All the world is waiting for the sun.
Computers
I had updated this really long nice blog, about my weekend, and how it did not go as planned, but I had a good time anyways, and then it erased.
Since then I have had a dramatic shift in mood. I called the doctor to find out if my results are in, and they are. Of the two pieces he took, one of them came back negative, and the other came back a positive for pre - cancer, which is the good news. He said that the precancer appeared to be contained within the border of the biopsy, but that it was close to the edge, meaning there could be more. The bad news is that when I asked the Doctor, he could not advise if it was enough to have created the high level of abnormality of the original test results. So I said, well what does that mean? This simply means that we know no more than we did a month ago. That something is wrong, and he does not know what it is, and that it is still probably in there! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I am exsaperated! I am going to get a second opinion. My Doctor says that we have to wait now another 6 months to allow for proper healing and try again.... Try again? I am sorry no disrespect meant, but what the fuck does this mean, try again? I don't understand why this is soooooo hard? I know nothing more than when I went in the first time, having a really wierd cramp in my ovary area on the right side???? @#$&^@%!(#(#()$&$^$(*#(#()%&*) BEEEEp BEEEEEP BEEEEEP mother BEEEP!
On top of this, we found out muh Boyfriend's father has lung cancer, and it is in the lymphnodes. This not good. We won't know how bad until next week sometime... Now we managed to have an okay weekend, even though his car blew up on Friday morning, on the interstate, on the way to school. Needless to say we did not go to Jacksonville. We spent a majority of the weekend fixing his car, or renting dollies, borrowing trucks and towing it to where it could get fixed. I enjoyed the time with him though. We went out Saturday, and dispite the terrible news of his father's condition, he still managed to keep a positive attitude, as we were celebrating my admission to UF. I thought he was very sweet. I rode the mechanical bull, and did not fall off. Then Saturday we did make it to the wedding, and it was nice.
I am sorry this entry is not as positive as it was the first time I typed it, but I needed to vent... I am just not in a very good mood after my news, or lack there of, of my biopsies.... Try again. How inept? I am going to have my entire file faxed to my primary care giver, and let him decide if I need to seek another opinion.
I guess this will end my rant. I could go on, but I really did have a nice weekend, dispite the overcast of bad news and broken cars. And this really was intended to be a very happy blog entry.... it is ashame that the first one got deleted. Then this rant could have been an additional entry! And even though things did not go as planned, I really do just enjoy being around him.
I am sooooo not in the mood to do a spell check either, so pardon the errors, or blah blah blah....
Rachel said...
I am sorry to hear about the news of your boyfriends dad, that is a terrible thing. He is lucky that he has your support. :)
I send you hugs
About me
Name : Heather
Age : 25
School : UF
Location: Gainesville, FL
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Just a woman trying to find her way.
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